Personally, It takes quite a lot to get me worked up. As discussed in chapter 8, I don’t so much experience anger as frustration. To whatever extent I do get angry, I will either “anger it in” if I feel it’s insignificant, or “anger control” it if I think it’s a problem worth addressing. I figure this is just a personality thing. I’ve always kept a cool head, this has been true for as long as I can remember. Anger was never something I struggled with, however, it has been a problem for other people I’ve known. Whenever I’d see them “lose it” over something, I could sympathize with their emotions, but couldn’t relate to how they were expressing it. It made no sense to me.
In my opinion, a common theme of these “anger-outers” is their tendency to react immediately and aggressively, often over mundane issues. Common is their willingness to say whatever sort of damaging thing that first comes to their mind, blind to the consequences of their actions. Eventually things will cool down, and sometimes “anger-outers” will, in retrospect, apologize for their misbehavior. This is all very well and good, however, too often the damage has already been done.
-Ben
I can relate to your post on how you deal with anger. I tend to deal with anger as an anger-in or anger control. For me it depends on what the conflict is about. If the issue is really worth discussing I will deal with it using anger control. I think this js the best way to come to a solution in a calm and effective manner. But like you I sometimes feel like there is no need for the conflict so I act in an anger-in manner. I agree with you that it seems odd when people completely lose their tempers and say and do things that they can't take back. That can be very distractive to relationships.
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