May 7-13 / Question 1

People have had, and always will have, a negative view of conflict. It starts at a very young age, we lack the skills to appropriately handle even the most basic of problems, leaving us with feelings of unease and apprehension. We fight and argue and have negative conflict experiences, which means, as this pattern would suggest, we learn to associate conflict with pain. 

Yes, I think the more people learn about conflict the less they fear it. An important thing to understand is that conflict can often be productive in building a relationship (as opposed to destructive) if handled appropriately. The more we engage in conflict the less we fear it, simply because we grow accustomed to it. While this may not always be a good thing, being comfortable dealing in conflict situations is a necessary ingredient to finding resolution.

May 7 - 13 / Question 2

What I liked most about this class was the pacing and choice of textbook. So often it's easy to get lost in an online course, not knowing whats due or when it's due. I felt that our professor did a great job at keeping students involved and in the loop as to what was happening for each week. I exchanged a few emails with her when I had various questions and always found her response to be both quick and helpful.

My only "dislike" may have been the amount of comments we were asked to make on other peoples postings. At times it felt excessive, like I may be repeating myself or just filling in space. The whole "commenting" idea i've seen in every single online class i've taken at SJSU. It's a useful idea in someways, although it gets rather repetitive.

May 7 -13th / Question 3

This is really the perfect question to end the semester on. For me, it all goes back to
S-TLC. This very basic principal encapsulates pretty much all of what a conflict in communication course should be teaching students. In chapter 15, we read over the different components which make up each of our worldviews, we studied the concept of “other”; all if which can be traced back to the “T” or “Think” in S-TLC. Chapter 8 dealt with managing anger, and all the problems often associated with it. If I had to sum up chapter 8 in only one word to someone, I might simply say - STOP. All other forms of conflict resolution will flow naturally after this initial pause. It’s something we often forget, we allow ourselves to get sucked into a situation without due time to sort things through in our head. Most of us, if we give ourselves the chance, can find much more satisfying conclusions to our problems if we follow S-TLC.

April 9-15 / Queston 3

Chapter 12 deals with the two theories of misplaced conflict and displaced conflict. Our textbook treats them as being two distinct and separate theories, but I see them as often being intertwined, sometimes even synonymous with each other. Misplaced conflict are defined as being conflicts, “Which occur when people argue about issues other than the ones at the heart of the conflict.” Displacement occurs, “When people take out their frustrations on those perceived as less dangerous to them.”

Take, for instance, a situation at the workplace when your called into your bosses office for failing to correctly label a repot. Say your boss has had a rough week at home, he’s stressed and ready to snap. If your boss decides to flip-out on you over this minor infraction, it’s a perfect example of both a misplaced and displaced conflict. Misplaced because the real source of his frustration is his personal life, and displaced because he is taking his anger out on a subordinate (rather than confronting the true person causing his angst). 

April 9-15 / Question 2

I think, whether consciously or not, we all form immediate first impression of others after we first meet them. These first impressions cause us to attribute certain characteristics that may or may not be accurate. If I meet a guy who dresses a certain way, acts a certain way and carries himself a certain way, (based upon my prior experiences) I will think of him as being one certain thing. From the simple, rather cursory observations I’ve made, I will come to expect from him certain behaviors. Attribution theory says, “People act as they do in conflict situations because of the inferences they make about others based on their behavior”. Much like stereotyping, It’s another way in which we tend to always want to lump people to together into groups and see them not for their unique qualities, but rather the qualities of their “group” as a whole.

April 9-15 / Question 1

I did a Google search on each of these three terms and found the top results for “forgiveness” relating to wikipedia articles, clinical studies, Biblical philosophy, psychology, brainy quotes, and nationwide forgiveness campaigns. Searching for “reconciliation”, I found mostly dictionary terminology, references to congressional practices, and a type of catholic sacrament. Searching the term “revenge” resulted in the ABC show of the same name.

By far, the best results were achieved when researching forgiveness. I think because forgiveness is such an important part of our everyday interactions, that much more thought and research has been put into making the term better understood. Reconciliation is important to the communicative process as well, but it is more of an obscure term not lending itself to much detail or practical application. Once you scroll past all the websites relating to the TV program “Revenge”, you can actually find some decent scholarly information pertaining to the subject. Because forgiveness is seen as a positive process and revenge a negative one, there is a greater emphasis placed on the first over the second.

Week of April 2 - 8 / Question 2

There have been a handful of situations where forgiveness was last on my list of priorities. Almost all involve close inter-personal relationships having gone array, usually resulting in a period of mutual ex-communication, then followed by something like an apology. At some point enough is enough, we move on past our differences and continue with our friendship. There have been many times where I’ve found it difficult to forgive, but I can honestly say I’ve never found it impossible. On a side note, I’d much rather it be a guy whom I’m arguing with. We tend to argue it out, say what we need to say, then move on. There isn’t always an official apology, but we know whats up. Women, on the other hand, are a completely different story. In my own experiences, I see that women carry around much more “emotional residue”. This can be difficult for men to grasp in relationships, usually getting us into trouble.