Trust is defined in our textbook as, “The belief that another is benevolent or honest toward the trusting individual, and that the other persons caring transcends any direct benefits the other receives as a result of caring” (111).
I would consider myself a trusting individual, not to an unhealthy extent of course, but someone who has a good head on his shoulders and who is aware when I’m being mislead. I choose to surround myself with people whom I have confidence in, people who I feel I can trust. Another way of putting it would be to say, I see trust as the degree to which I can feel vulnerable around them.
The only times I’ve truly lost trust in someone weren’t because of how they acted towards me, rather it was me witnessing how they behaved around other people. I once was buddies with a guy who I felt was a trustworthy source to turn to for personal advice. Although he never disclosed any of this information, nor to my knowledge acted inappropriately upon it, I heard casual the way in which he spoke of close friends and family members, often times using personal information behind their backs which could’ve damaged their reputation. My trust in him was lost after I realized that this gossip served no real purpose outside entertaining his friends. I thought, “If this is how he talks about others, what is he saying about me?”. The lack of judgement and poor discretion caused me to longer consider him worthy of my trust.
-Ben
Rumors and talking negatively about others is a terrific way for people to distrust you. To your point Ben, how would you know if that person is acting and speaking badly about you? You don’t, and that is the reason to steer away from those individuals.
ReplyDeleteMy father’s side of the family enjoys gossiping. It can be very discouraging because you feel betrayed. I have understood that less is more. I only tell one of the “sisters” (my great aunts) something if I wish for the entire family to know. My great grandma had seven daughters, and they are the ones who tell all. Trust can only be given to those we feel deserve it.
Ben,
ReplyDeleteI think that we often find ourselves in positions to trust many people, maybe it is just me. But personally find myself, almost trusting anyone that is willing to come into my life, but the moment that trust is broke, thats the end of the life for that. Its a very tough task to gain back my trust after it is broken. I totally see what your talking about, when you talk about people acting differently towards others that towards you. Its as it they are almost putting on a mask to be someone else. I definetly picked out those weeds in my younger years. And I personally think you did the right think by getting them out of your circle, because it can spread. Good post.