A mediator is defined as, “A neutral third party who has no decision-making power regarding the outcome of the mediation”.
While formal mediation can be useful in some situations, it is far more likely that we will deal with conflict in which we are not a neutral observer, but rather an active participant. However, I don’t think this means we can’t glean some helpful information from the skills taught to third party professional mediators.
On page 198, the book lists “specificity” and “focusing on behavior which one can change” as being useful mediation tools. There is overlap here between the skills of a meditator and the ways in which we choose to engage in interpersonal conflict. Key to the very idea of conflict resolution is focusing on specific, controlled behavior and not accusing your partner with broad generalizations.
I also find “speaking for myself” particularly important. One mistake that is commonly made is when one person attempts to put words in the others mouth, trying to portray a false version of their point of view.
-Ben
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