This is really the perfect question to end the semester on. For me, it all goes back to
S-TLC. This very basic principal encapsulates pretty much all of what a conflict in communication course should be teaching students. In chapter 15, we read over the different components which make up each of our worldviews, we studied the concept of “other”; all if which can be traced back to the “T” or “Think” in S-TLC. Chapter 8 dealt with managing anger, and all the problems often associated with it. If I had to sum up chapter 8 in only one word to someone, I might simply say - STOP. All other forms of conflict resolution will flow naturally after this initial pause. It’s something we often forget, we allow ourselves to get sucked into a situation without due time to sort things through in our head. Most of us, if we give ourselves the chance, can find much more satisfying conclusions to our problems if we follow S-TLC.
Very well said Ben, STLC is like the moral of our conflict management class that we have been learning all along past 15 weeks. STLC can be implemented as an effective tool of conflict resolution by any age group to resolve conflict in personal or professional life. STLC is easy to understand and execute in real life scenarios. STLC enables us to stop at the right moment, think about the opinions from either side, listen to the justifications and allegations from either side and then communicate. So final communication is a well-analyzed outcome, compared to the silly response we spurt in the heat of the moment.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that becoming skilled with using the S-TLC method of conflict resolution—with an emphasis on “stop”—is critical to resolving conflicts effectively. I would add that I think becoming skilled in “I-statements” is also very important. To take responsibility for one’s feelings, wants, and needs and letting the other person know what you’d like is much more effective than “you” statements that verbally point a finger and blame the other person.
ReplyDeleteRegarding managing anger, I agree with you that the “stop” of S-TLC is critical; however, I feel it might be most effective with an anger-out person. Anger-controllers already have mechanisms in place to keep them from acting out. Anger-in people are already holding back because they don’t let their anger out, which of course isn’t healthy because anger can easily build up to a boiling point since there is no release.
I also agree that the S-TLC method is the core of the conflict managment concepts. One of the really great features of the process is that it can be easily modified and combined with anger managment techniques. I recently did this for my six-year-old son that has been having anger outbursts at school. I taught him to say, "stop, count to ten and back again," which is an easy to remember age appropriate application of the concepts. Now he even tells me "stop, count to ten and back again" when I start getting stressed out and frustrated.
ReplyDeleteWe are still working on the "listen" part.